Not the Update I Had in Mind

Happy Wednesday, Friends!  The sun is shining most days here and the temperatures are warming up.  My garden is beginning to show signs of life again and my chickens are anxious each morning to get outside and face the day. . . and so am I!

While our world is still in chaos and what the future holds remains unclear, I am finding myself standing taller and smiling more often.  Seasons come and season go, but our Lord never changes!  I hope that you also are planting your feet on the solid Rock and finding your heart beating at a steadier pace, knowing that Our God Reigns!

As I prayed about what the Lord would have me write about today, I realized that our days are changing even as we continue to "stay at home" and so it seemed like time to share a little about what our days look like right now.  I wanted to tell you specifically about how our family is ministering during this time at home and what our homeschool looks like. . . 

However, this morning the Lord impressed on my heart to share a little more about my health. 

It felt like a strange direction to go right now, especially while I'm feeling so springy and sunshiny. :)  But as I tried to write around that idea, the Lord kept bringing me back. 
​So I guess, He wants me to go here first.

I haven't talked much about my health on this blog, mostly because I have other things I want to write about and more important things for you to read about! 
I want to always point you to Jesus. . .
and I want to point myself to Him as well! 
So while I know that God cares tremendously about me and the struggles I face, I don't want those to be my focus or yours!

The other primary reason I haven't written much about my health is because it feels very overwhelming to think about what to write.  I've been dealing with difficulties with my health for several years now and none of what I've faced or discovered has been clear-cut.  There is so much. . . it's exhausting just to think back over it all.

However, to completely leave out my struggle would be dishonest and would certainly leave some with questions about why our family does some of what we do, especially as it pertains to ministry.  So in an effort to help you understand our family a little better and to get to know me a little better, here goes. . .

Several years ago (while we were still traveling full-time), I began to experience a variety of challenging symptoms.  For the next few years, my health was up and down.  We worked as a family to find ways to manage and minimize my symptoms and I felt much better most of the time.  Then in the fall of 2017, I got very, very ill.  Although after a few months I recovered from that specific issue, it seemed to set off a domino effect and my health took a serious downturn.  Since that time, I have had some periods of feeling almost normal and I have had many times when I can barely function. 

(On a side note, I have CONSISTENTLY been blown away by the amazing care, compassion, and patience that Josh and the boys have shown me!  This has NOT been easy on them.  Their burdens have often been heavy and they've at times made significant sacrifices for me, but they have never complained and always been gracious and kind!)

Finally, after a particularly difficult couple of months last fall, I had several new tests run to check for a number of more serious conditions and God was incredibly merciful to leave me with a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia instead of what could have been much worse.

Whether Fibromyalgia is the complete explanation for my symptoms is a little uncertain, but one thing is sure - when looking at a list of the many symptoms that can be experienced by those suffering from this condition, I certainly fit the bill.

I am tremendously grateful for this diagnosis! It brought clarity to years of confusion and I am now on medication that has provided significant relief to many of my symptoms. 
God is so good!

That brings us to today. 
As of now, my symptoms are very manageable.  I am discovering some of the things that trigger a flare-up and am able to make choices that minimize them.  I am regularly sleeping well for the first time in years and am able to care for my family and do many of the things I would like to.  Some days are better than others, but I am learning to accept the hard days, to accept my limits as allowed by my Good and Sovereign Savior, and to slow down, do less, and remember that every day is not so hard!  

Over and over again, God has shown Himself faithful to me!  He does not always remove our trials, but He ALWAYS leads us through them (if we're willing to follow, of course.) I'm so thankful we don't have to walk through the hard things alone!

Now for those of you who are reading this while facing sickness, pain, or loss that I cannot fathom, those of you who would do anything to trade your pain for a diagnosis like mine:

Please know my heart is sincere when I say that I am so sorry you are hurting! I'm sorry for the questions you have, the confusion or the disappointment.  Know also, that the moment I finish typing this, I will pray for you, whoever you are.  I will pray that God would reveal Himself to you.  I will pray that you know that you are not alone.  And I will pray that you lean into the Savior, that you trust Him to carry you when you are too weak to go on. 
You may not feel like it right now, (and that's okay because that doesn't change the truth that) God loves you so very, very much!  He wants to lead you through your pain!  Hang onto Him, don't let go!  

Well, this is not where I thought this post would go, but I am trusting that the Lord had a purpose.  Maybe next week I'll update you a bit on ministry and homeschooling. 
​
Now, I'm going to take a walk in the sunshine and thank our Creator for springtime.  

Blessings to you, Friend! 
Still Learning to Follow ~ Sarah